Santa the really real story

[Dondi]

From The book of Clause:

In all the history of man there have been only two immaculate conceptions, the first being God and the Virgin Mary and the birth of their son Jesus, the second being Satan and the virgin Erika and the birth of their son Santa. On the anniversary of his birth there were always a great number of unexplained deaths and murders. This day became known as the dag of morde or the day of slaying. Eventually Christianity spread and when the dag of morde arrived, the townspeople would have a mass of Christ or a Christ mass where they would pray to their lord for protection, hearing their calls God sent down one of his angel generals from the heavens.

The angel took the form of an old man. He encountered the ill tempered Santa not far from his home; Santa was ice fishing with the ornery little people, the elves. Knowing the son of Satan was a gambling sort he challenged Santa to a contest, the contest was a simple one who could slide a rock across the lake and land it closest to the ice fishing hole without the rock falling in would win. If Santa won he could deliver the confident old man to his father for an eternity of pain and suffering but if the old man won the contest Santa would not only have to cease the day of slaying for the next one thousand years but would also turn it into a dag of glee or day of joy.

Santa thought this was as close to a sure thing as could be there was no way a mere mortal would defeat him in anything. Santa was so sure of himself that he went first, his rock landed as close as could possibly be to the hole without going in next it was the old man’s turn the old man’s rock slid slowly along and came to rest touching Santa’s rock with just enough momentum to push Santa’s rock over and into the hole, the old man had won.

That was exactly one thousand years ago this year, the bet is over.